I get what you’re saying. Honestly I do.
In a perfect world we would go to the police straight away, or at the very least keep a record of dates, times, witnesses if any.
But most of us go into a shower and just sit on the floor crying, and scrubbing ourselves clean until we bleed, to get the shame off. We don’t think of consequences of law or the future. Just that moment, that pain, that guilty feeling they always leave you with because they make you the one to blame, and because of the culture we grew up with which did the same.
I see things changing and more women knowing immediately that they were not to blame. I see people embrace the hurt one and see that justice is done now in more cases. But it’s not there yet and, for the one going through it, no amount of knowing what the right thing is will make that the first thought after an attack.
Also, when someone whispers in your ear as they leave, as some do, ‘I’ll kill you if you tell’, you tend to keep quiet.
For 30 years years, or more.
So I get what you’re saying, I really do. But it is not something most women (or attacked men) think about.
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